You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
