I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
