dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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