i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
