I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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