Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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