how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
