I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
