All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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