He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
