Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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