why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
