Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
