I must be too annoying 4 u.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
