i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
