No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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