you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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