i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
