Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
