Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
