That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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