so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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