How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Still dying that you shit outside
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
