I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
