His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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