since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
