I was born with a shot glass in my hand
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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