the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
