he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
