My hand turned me down
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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