margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Non-Jews are for practice
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
