I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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