Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
