You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
