i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
