Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
