break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
