Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I think my fart just growled at me.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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