Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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