im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
