Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
