dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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