i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
