Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
