someone threw a dead crab at me
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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