No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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