OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
