you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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