the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
