you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
